Have You Ever?

· Have You Ever had The Opportunity To Make A Suffering Person Happy?
When I was in 8th grade, I had a friend name Kyle. We were pretty close and there really wasn’t anything that I couldn’t tell him. Kyle loved rock music, he loved his friends, and felt like school was the only place he was really happy. He had a lot of self-esteem issues and anytime the topic of self-worth came up, I always tried my best to build him up. Kyle didn’t exactly have the greatest home life either and was constantly pushed down and made out to be some trouble maker. He was one of the nicest kids that I had ever met, and he struggled to feel a sense of belonging and understanding. One night, I was over at my friend Cara’s house, we got online, and he sent an instant message to us saying that he needed to talk to us. He said that he was done. He couldn’t take it anymore. He had never been happy, he was never going to be a good looking kid, no one would ever accept him, he would never satisfy his parents, and he was worthless. For over an hour, Cara and I took turns talking to Kyle, talking him down saying that we cared about him and that we would always be there. He couldn’t do anything about his parents, but they only want the best for him. We did everything we could together to build him back up and keep him from doing something really stupid. Do I believe that he would have taken his life? I’m not really sure. However, Cara and I both felt like he was waiting for someone to send him a message, someone to say, “Hi”. He sat at his computer hoping that someone was thinking of him. Cara and I had. The thought of dying or suicide crossed Kyle’s mind for often than not, but we knew he wouldn’t carry through with it. Anytime he ever felt like he was that night, we would talk to Cara or I, and he would be reminded that at least two people in the world cared about him. Kyle is still here and I see him every now and then. When we talk, it’s like nothing has changed. We know a lot of personal things about each other, and for a while, we had each other as friends, and when we felt our relief of just talking, we were happy.

· Have You Ever Felt Guilty For Bringing Pain And Suffering To Another Person?
The beginning of my junior year, I ended a year long relationship with a boy named Tanner. Our relationship was seemingly perfect and he was a great boyfriend and person, but there came a point in time, very early in our relationship, that I realized I didn’t love him. I had struggled with my feelings for most of our relationship, and I was too much of a coward to tell him the truth. I didn’t want to break his heart, and I thought if I could endure it enough, I would eventually fall in love with him. I tried to force myself to have feelings for him, because I knew how good of a person he was. I knew that he treated me very well, but my personality just wasn’t like his. We fought a lot, I faked and lied about loving him, I made him believe our relationship was one thing, and I was miserable. I finally came to the realization that I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t see a future with him, I finally accepted that I didn’t love him, and I didn’t want to lie anymore. I was done being a fake and treating him like I was. I knew what I had to do, and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I had to do what was best for him, and I had to do what was best for me. At first when the conversation was brought up, I wasn’t sure if that was what I had wanted. We talked and we cried. I woke up the next morning and felt the same. I had to let him go. We talked at his house and I said that I needed to move on. I needed to change and he deserved someone who would know what they have. I was honest about never loving him, and I apologized as best as I could. He was devastated. After we knew it was over, and there was nothing left to say, he drove me to my car. We talked for a while, I got into my car, he kissed me, and said ,”Good-bye.” Although it was probably the hardest I had done in my life, I knew that I owed it to him. I wasn’t being fair. I know I hurt him more than I will probably ever imagine, but I did what was best. We have both long since moved on, and I don’t regret my decision at all. I made mistakes, and I have paid the price. However, never will I look back and regret what had to be done. The only thing I wish I could take back, would be hurting him, and dragging it out, hoping that things would change when I knew deep down they wouldn’t.